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Apr 25

Waiting on the cable guy

“Fame means when your computer modem is broken, the repair guy comes out to the house a little faster,”
– Sandra Bullock.

Perhaps a little fame might have helped get the cable guy to our house quicker, but I doubt it.

The autodial instructions came days before the scheduled cable-internet technician’s visit.

The company, whose name I shall not mention, called a second time via recorded message with a stern warning that I had better be there or else.

Have someone over the age of 18 present. Be sure the residence is open and accessible and put all pets away. The technician will call you twice on the day of service and if you do not answer or miss the message, the service call will be cancelled.

And, you will die.

No, they did not say that, but they had my rapt attention.

My instructions were to wait from 1 to 5 p.m.

At 3 o’clock, I called the automated number. Here’s a tip, keep pushing zero until a live person answers. “He will be there in 45 minutes,” I was told. I called again at 4 and again at 5:10.

Actually, I was feeling pretty proud of myself for being so patient. By the way, the Encarta definition of patient, an adjective, is being able to endure waiting or delay without becoming annoyed or upset or to persevere calmly when faced with difficulties.

I was indeed long-suffering and enduring that day, but enough is enough already.

“Where is he?” I screamed out loud at 5:30 p.m. to absolutely no one. Just one more call, I thought, and this time I will not be nice. However, Murphy’s Law was working overtime, and voice mail would not punch me through to a human being.

At 6:15 on a Monday night, the cable guy shows.

“Please tell me his name is not Larry the Cable Guy,” I pleaded to the universe.

To make a long story short after an exceedingly long afternoon, the cable guy called for backup.
A second truck arrived. At 7:05, a third cable guy. This one knew what to do, and by 8 p.m. cable and internet were up and running.

“Do you guys really work this late past 5 o’clock?” I asked incredulously. I was properly impressed and grateful despite waiting all afternoon.

I just have a couple more questions for Larry, the first technician to arrive. Are all cable guys named Larry?

And, those guys with him, could they be his brother Daryl and his other brother Daryl (of The Bob Newhart Show fame)?

I wonder.